32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize