PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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