i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
