Buhtt sex?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
