Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
