he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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