My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
