im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
