Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
