i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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