I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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