if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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