Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My ass is underappreciated
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
try to milk me bitch
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