I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
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