My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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