I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
COCAINE IS GR8
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
