He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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