I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
