We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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