then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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