Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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