and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
