i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
