i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Church boner. Awkwardddd
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Found your dick twin last night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
