Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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