if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
