Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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