I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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