I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
