My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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