my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you had me at cake vodka
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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