You made me cry and you don't even care
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
