Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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