in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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