We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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