Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
