So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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