I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
