32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize