I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
