i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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