i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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