she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
