careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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