If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love having hate sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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