I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
