She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
