Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He did a backflip because drugs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
