I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
