Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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