There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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