Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
