Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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