Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
