no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
