I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
