i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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