How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
