if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
