The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize